Why people have affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on since millennium. Affairs can be loaded with problems, cause misery, and other troubles. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty thing, money, age difference, religious education, shame, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating wives.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are man seeking woman for affair. I suppose typically though it is just the human condition, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to turn the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but the public too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your spouse or anybody else? You would need to reduce the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest grouping, gigantic in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they feel happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your savings are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair sometimes solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sadly this is a regular reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the male is sexually neglecting his female for a number of reasons. As a man I really appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be compassion is not here, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply grown separately, our relulas concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair